Your voice
May 11, 2007

‘Asiaphiles anonymous,’ Amanda Berg, April 25

I love the article you wrote about stereotypes and interracial dating.
– Lenora Smith

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I hope you don't mind me responding to your article, but as a non-Asian male who is attracted to Asian women I felt I needed to. This is not a criticism of you as a person (obviously because I don't know you), but of an opinion you posted in a public forum.

To begin, I guess I should tell you about myself because it might help to explain my position. I'm a first generation Polish-American who grew up in a predominantly Mexican neighborhood. Because of where I grew up, most of my relationships have been interracial. I didn't start dating Asian women until I was in college. But since college I have developed a strong attraction to Asian women and have dated many in the last few years.

First off, I take offense to your position that only white men are afflicted with this "yellow fever." I know of many Chicanos and African-Americans who are attracted to Asian women. Are white people really the only people that you feel make assumptions of Asians based on their race?

Second, I find the entire message of your article somewhat disturbing as an American male who has grown up in very diverse circumstances (which is what this country is supposed to be about). Because my family has only been here a short time and I grew up in an area filled with immigrants, I don't necessarily feel comfortable associating with or dating most white Americans. My father's first language was not English and my family is more tightly knit than the average white-American family. Because of this, I have primarily dated outside of my race for my entire life. It's difficult sometimes getting stares from other white people but I've come to expect that. However, I find it even more disturbing when my date's race gives us dirty looks. If my date is African-American, I'm stereotyped for that. If my date is Chicana, I'm stereotyped for that. It's only recently that I've been criticized by all sides for dating Asian women. I had a woman I work with start chewing me out for my attraction to Asian women, making the same claims that you do within your article: that I'm only attracted to Asians because they’re submissive, cook and clean, are tiny and cute, etc. I attempted to explain my side but ...

How about because I speak Japanese and prefer brunettes to blondes and like to talk to others that know what it's like to not really “fit in" here? How about that I respect and identify with people who have a cultural identity that extends beyond Ford trucks and Coca-Cola? Yes, I do ask some Asian women about their cultural heritage. It's not some cheesy pick-up line. It's that I'm genuinely interested in other cultures and (like Polish, Russians, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, etc.) most Asian families began immigrating to this country during the 20th century so they generally have a stronger connection to their heritage than most other Americans.

So, in closing, please don't propagate stereotypes as you decry them.

Thanks for listening to my rant.
– Sonny Zwierkowski

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